No one, including me, has written in a while. I am not looking for any excuses...nor am I giving any, but I feel that we all need to keep this discussion going. No...the truth actually is I need to keep it going. I feel lost in my skin. Lost, lonely, unsure, and unusual. I am feeling that nothing I do is right. What is that? Where does it come from? How come it is so easily invited into my brain?
Summer is half over and I have nothing to show for it.
I want to feel good being me.
I sat down to write about different things and that came out....where was I going....?
I was given an outstanding book by the wonderful Abbey called Spilling Open. It is an art journal of this girl between the ages of 18-21 and her journey to find herself. Her name is Sabrina Something. She is now about 24 or older-I don't have the book here with me. I have flipped through is a lot but started to actually read it front to back yesterday. I am feeling exactly what she is writing about. I am connecting so well with this because I am simply unraveling when is comes to my art. I feel like what I am creating is not me. I don't want to be an artist to sell my work and put on exhibits. I want to be an artist just to be me...my expression, thoughts, my outlet. And so much lately has been forced and painfully extracted for other things. This may sound strange but this is not complaining... I have made it hard on myself and not because I had to do it. I want to find how I express with out the influence of anyone. I want a blanket of Joni to wrap over all of me and all parts of my life.
My thoughts stop and rest there....hope you are all doing well.
love.
No comments:
Post a Comment